EN 211B – The things I carry

On the inside:

 

I obviously carry the feather light weight of humor. Though, I also carry the burden of my struggling mother and brother. I carry the hate for a dying woman whose hell bent on hating her whole family. I carry sisterly love for my beautiful cousin, and an overwhelming joy for my sister, who will accomplish all her dreams. I carry the frustrations of the day to day. I carry the pressures of loans, of doctor’s bills. I carry the responsibility to take care of my best friend, to keep him safe. I carry dreams for the future, regrets from the past. I carry embarrassment, deep down. I carry compassion and I carry spite. I carry a never-ending love for a girl across the continent. I carry the weight of fear in my heart. The fear that my future won’t be as bright as I hope it will be. But I also carry the painful knowledge that no life will ever live up to my impossible expectations. I carry thoughts that are not socially acceptable, and lies that would ruin lives. I carry goals that no one understands, and ones that even less appreciate. I carry a love for the written word, the power of lines on a page. The largest weight I carry is that of anger and sadness. I carry this weight because of alcohol. I will never shed this weight, this overwhelming rage.

 

And out:

 

I carry a teddy bear named Clay, he’s with my always, no matter where I go. I carry a bracelet of friendship on my right ankle, and one of kind memories on the left. I carry some scars, many ugly, one beautiful. I carry tattoos, the ink is such a light weight, always there, always pure, like the friendship they celebrate. I carry a diamond ring. Its weight is always around my neck so that I can never let myself forget.

~ by addysinstardust on February 11, 2009.